Then again, I'm analyzing a game where the main character dies every fucking game, yet manages to escape hell simply by walking out the front door. After the first time, you'd think Hades would eventually put up security measures, leading up to standing at the door himself. Considering the size of Hades, he'd only have to hold out his hand on Kratos's head to hold him back. Should Kratos actually be able to kill him, there's still Charon, Cerberus, and the river Styx. Again, I'm analyzing a game where the way to kill an ancient Greek God is by rescuing another god's daughter, who happens to be a robot. Yeah... God of War III has a lot of issues.
As much shit as I give that game though, I got to give it credit: it retconned three games in one blow. Four, if you count itself. Dead Space 2 on the other hand, retconned its own story, in half an hour. See, throughout the game, it mentions that the McGuffin, the "Marker," is man-made. All of a sudden, this line of dialogue happens:
Isaac: Why are these people after me?
Daina: The Marker is very potent alien technology.
Keep in mind that in this game, there has been no mention before of alien technology being part of the story (save for the Marker that was on Earth, that isn't the problem causing one). Also keep in mind that the Marker in question was man-made on Earth, and, according to the first game, from Earth material. So explain to me...
If it's made on Earth, by Earth people, by Earth minerals to resemble an object that isn't even technology... how in the flying monkey's hell is it alien technology?! It's a fucking sculpture that has a virus in it, and is made by humans! And I know this because it's been said in the first game, and ten times in this one.
So, all this talk of retconning has got me thinking: what could I retcon from my life? I'm not talking about crappy things, I'm talking about things that don't normally hold any bearing on my life. I don't want to accidentally make a deal with the devil that involves saving my aunt in exchange for my marriage to a sexy redheaded actress. Or, maybe sexy brunette gamer-girl or sexy blonde Mensa president. Whoever.
I could always retcon learning the entirety of "The Jabberwocky" in the fifth grade. Then, I'd never have my catch phrase of "Callous Callais!" Of course, I never used it anyway, for fear of moving to San Francisco....
Maybe I should retcon playing Silent Hill. Then, I'd never have my favorite horror series, and Silent Hill 2 to hate.
Let's make this seem even more inconsequential. I should've never played tag in the first grade, started drawing, worked at Gabriel Bros for six months, and asked the smart kid about his "paper video games." Inconsequential enough, right? Sure, I mean, they're things we take for granted anyway, and are probably meaningless.
Except, if I never played tag in the first grade, I'd never met the person I've known for all of my life, who I trust with my life. Bink's the one of the few people that can accept me for all my weirdness, even going so far as supporting it. Can't do that.
If I never started drawing, I'd never have what I want to do with my life. Art has been my guiding light, and I can't help but feel that I have that talent for a reason. Can't lose that.
Gabriel Bros? I'd never met Patty, the rambling psychotic who can somehow make even the most distraught person laugh. Can't retcon that.
The paper games? I retcon that, I'd lose an entire group of the best friends anyone could ever have. I wouldn't have the people that support me when no one else is around. Who knows where I'd end up.
Those are examples of what would happen if the "little" events never happened in my life. I can't even imagine what would happen if I flat out did away with the major events of my life. The results would be catastrophic. Or worse. This isn't a game or a comic where all it does is become a plot hole.
Either way, in reality or fiction, retconning is a bad idea.
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